Coming Soon: www.1995Batman.com

Quick update. I'm shuttering Collected Cinema for the time being and will be moving on to a new blog focus solely on Batman Forever. Look out for it soon.

www.1995batman.com

5 Batman movie audiobooks reviewed

I’m a huge Batman fan and I collect a lot of stuff from the movies – particularly the Burton and Schumacher ones that I grew up with.

I always used to hate movie novelisations as a kid and found them pointless. I’d usually have the film on video and couldn’t understand the point of reading a long, slow, duller version where I had to build the image up in my head.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve had a lot of nostalgia for stuff from my youth and I recently purchased a lot of Batman novelisation audiobooks off eBay (curse you eBay) and transferred them from tape to mp3. Here’s my thoughts:-

Batman (1989) read by Roddy McDowall

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7GD5Q2Yrqc

At around 90 minutes this is a little shorter than the movie it’s based on. Roddy McDowell is a nice choice given that he played the Bookworm in the 60s series and voiced the Mad Hatter in the animated show. His high pitched, slightly camp voice makes him more suitable for the Joker and Vicki Vale than he does for Bruce Wayne and Batman. It’s not an especially dynamic reading and definitely could have been improved. It sounds a lot like McDowall is reading his lines for the first time. Overall, it’s fine but no real surprises or additional scenes.

Batman (1989) novelisation read by Nathan Pierce (unofficial release 2016)

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2YTn7DIH1Q

This is an unofficial recording made by a YouTube group called Audiobooks for the Damned who record themselves reading old movie novelisations unabridged. At 5 and a half hours this is very slow compared to the movie. It’s a straight read through of the novelisation by Craig Shaw Gardner. Hilariously it’s unedited and a few times Nathan slips up and swears to himself. Don’t let your kids listen to this. One interesting element is that it includes one of the cut subplots from the film in which the Joker defaces a statue of John T Gotham (the founder of the city) with his own face. If you go looking through some background material on the film you will find that they did build this statue but never shot the unveiling scene.

Batman Returns (1992) read by Michael Murphy

NOTE: No youtube version of this. You’ll have to find the tape.

Spread over 2 tapes this is around 2 and half hour. A little more than the film’s runtime. Michael Murphy plays the role of the mayor in the movie. He’s actually really good and has a much more suitable voice for Bruce Wayne and Batman. Again, no major additions here though there are one or two extra sleazy puns from the Penguin. This is actually really enjoyable and probably the most recommended of all the audiobooks.

Batman Forever (1995) read by René Auberjonois

LISTEN: https://www.mixcloud.com/batmanadventurespodcast/batman-forever-part-1-of-4/

Again, this uses one of the cast. Auberjonois played the small role of Dr Burton in the film. He’s a decent narrator but like McDowall suits the villains more than the title hero. A few extra lines here and there. Strangely, it begins with a flashback of Edward Nygma being bullied as a kid at school and vowing one day he’ll get his revenge. I’ve always wondered if this was ever part of the script. Overall, a good reading and at 2 and half hours, it’s about the right length. One thing I always liked is that it opens with Danny Elfman’s superior score rather than Elliot Goldenthal’s.

Batman & Robin (1997) An Audio Action Adventure

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYnhkTPwMKA

This one is the odd duck. Rather than have someone narrate the novelisation they chose to do it as a radio play with sound effects. The voice artists, uncredited, are super cheesy and very over the top (not unlike the movie). The recording also boasts “special 3D sound effects” which are really grating. It even drops the Elliot Goldenthal score for some cheesy stock library music. It’s a real dud. The only saving grace is that it’s 35 minutes.

That’s all for now. Expect some more Batman-related stuff in the future.

How did these guys get DTV careers?... Val Kilmer

CASE STUDY 1: Val Kilmer

Where was he? Val Kilmer was one of those 'not quite a teen/not quite a man' teen stars in the 80s with films like Real Genius and Top Secret! and he quickly transitioned to grown up fare in Top Gun and The Doors. Then came an awesome set of three films back-to-back Tombstone, Heat, Batman Forever. He looked like he couldn't stop. Then came The Saint, a film he wisely/unwisely chose to take over returning as Batman in Batman & Robin. The Saint wasn't a great flick in fact it was generally poorly received but it wasn't Batman & Robin either. 

What film killed his career? Red Planet (2000) This film and Brian De Palma's Mission to Mars came out the same with a year of each other. This happens a lot with Hollywood flicks, two similar films come out within months of each other from separate studios, usually one succeeds and one falls flat (See Capote and Infamous). But in this case both flopped and after The Saint, Kilmer had used all his leading man lives up.

Where is he now? Kicking around in a lot of DTV films that star 50 Cent. Sure every now and then people like Werner Herzog put him in stuff like Bad Lieutenant but more or less you'll never see him on the big screen again. Maybe he should try getting a lead role in a CBS drama like Laurence Fishburne (and no Val, voicing KITT on Knight Rider doesn't count.) 

<= Batman Forever Part II: The Retirement Years. Having taken out the Joker, the Penguin, Catwoman, the Riddler and Two-Face Bruce Wayne apparently got a job as an office administrator and caught up on all those big macs he abstained from during his years of physical training.

Next time: Wesley Snipes