5 things to love about Tuff Turf (1985)

What’s it about:
James Spader plays Morgan Hiller, a new kid at an inner city school. He falls foul of a rough gang of students led by Nick (Paul Mones) first by foiling a mugging and later by romantically pursuing Nick’s girlfriend Frankie (Kim Richards). Basically, it’s like a John Hughes movie gone bad! The tone of the film is all over the place but that’s part of what makes it so enjoyable.

5 things to love:

1 I think the biggest thing I took away from this film is how awesome the Jim Carroll Band are. They use three tracks from Carroll’s 1980 album Catholic Boy – ‘Voices’, ‘It’s Too Late’ and the amazing ‘People Who Died’. The rest of the soundtrack is an awkward mix of bubblegum pop ‘Breakin’ the Rules (What Do You Do When Opposites Attract)’by Lene Lovich and a collection of 60s R&B covers from Jack Mack and the Heart Attack.

2 James Spader more often than not plays either out and out assholes (Less Than Zero, Pretty in Pink) or dark and eccentric characters (Crash, Secretary). It’s pretty rare that he plays a straight forward hero. I don’t really think it’s terribly suitable for the role of Morgan Hiller but it’s fun to see him playing a good guy for change.

3 So, apparently, it was only decided after the script was written and the film was prepped that they wanted to up the music and dance elements (to compete with Footloose). As a consequence, there’s a number of lengthy dance sequences in the film. The best (or worst depending on your opinion) is Kim Richards’ go for broke dance sequence. Watch it here.

4 Another awkward addition is James Spader’s impromptu song that he serenades his friends with when they crash a country club dinner. Again, simultaneously terrible and awesome. Watch it here.

I’m sorry to report that isn’t Spader singing and the song isn’t on the soundtrack.

5 The last great thing about the film is we get a young Robert Downey Jr playing Spader’s friend Jimmy. This was the first time they acted together (see also: Less Than Zero and Avengers: Age of Ultron). He gives a memorable performance, spending most of the film not wearing a shirt.

1 thing it didn’t need:

At 1 hour 50 minutes, this film is way too long. There’s not enough plot to sustain that runtime. Had this been a shorter film I think it would be more memorable. Still, for 80s nostalgists this is definitely a film to visit when you’ve worn out your John Hughes tapes.

5 Batman movie audiobooks reviewed

I’m a huge Batman fan and I collect a lot of stuff from the movies – particularly the Burton and Schumacher ones that I grew up with.

I always used to hate movie novelisations as a kid and found them pointless. I’d usually have the film on video and couldn’t understand the point of reading a long, slow, duller version where I had to build the image up in my head.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve had a lot of nostalgia for stuff from my youth and I recently purchased a lot of Batman novelisation audiobooks off eBay (curse you eBay) and transferred them from tape to mp3. Here’s my thoughts:-

Batman (1989) read by Roddy McDowall

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7GD5Q2Yrqc

At around 90 minutes this is a little shorter than the movie it’s based on. Roddy McDowell is a nice choice given that he played the Bookworm in the 60s series and voiced the Mad Hatter in the animated show. His high pitched, slightly camp voice makes him more suitable for the Joker and Vicki Vale than he does for Bruce Wayne and Batman. It’s not an especially dynamic reading and definitely could have been improved. It sounds a lot like McDowall is reading his lines for the first time. Overall, it’s fine but no real surprises or additional scenes.

Batman (1989) novelisation read by Nathan Pierce (unofficial release 2016)

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2YTn7DIH1Q

This is an unofficial recording made by a YouTube group called Audiobooks for the Damned who record themselves reading old movie novelisations unabridged. At 5 and a half hours this is very slow compared to the movie. It’s a straight read through of the novelisation by Craig Shaw Gardner. Hilariously it’s unedited and a few times Nathan slips up and swears to himself. Don’t let your kids listen to this. One interesting element is that it includes one of the cut subplots from the film in which the Joker defaces a statue of John T Gotham (the founder of the city) with his own face. If you go looking through some background material on the film you will find that they did build this statue but never shot the unveiling scene.

Batman Returns (1992) read by Michael Murphy

NOTE: No youtube version of this. You’ll have to find the tape.

Spread over 2 tapes this is around 2 and half hour. A little more than the film’s runtime. Michael Murphy plays the role of the mayor in the movie. He’s actually really good and has a much more suitable voice for Bruce Wayne and Batman. Again, no major additions here though there are one or two extra sleazy puns from the Penguin. This is actually really enjoyable and probably the most recommended of all the audiobooks.

Batman Forever (1995) read by René Auberjonois

LISTEN: https://www.mixcloud.com/batmanadventurespodcast/batman-forever-part-1-of-4/

Again, this uses one of the cast. Auberjonois played the small role of Dr Burton in the film. He’s a decent narrator but like McDowall suits the villains more than the title hero. A few extra lines here and there. Strangely, it begins with a flashback of Edward Nygma being bullied as a kid at school and vowing one day he’ll get his revenge. I’ve always wondered if this was ever part of the script. Overall, a good reading and at 2 and half hours, it’s about the right length. One thing I always liked is that it opens with Danny Elfman’s superior score rather than Elliot Goldenthal’s.

Batman & Robin (1997) An Audio Action Adventure

LISTEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYnhkTPwMKA

This one is the odd duck. Rather than have someone narrate the novelisation they chose to do it as a radio play with sound effects. The voice artists, uncredited, are super cheesy and very over the top (not unlike the movie). The recording also boasts “special 3D sound effects” which are really grating. It even drops the Elliot Goldenthal score for some cheesy stock library music. It’s a real dud. The only saving grace is that it’s 35 minutes.

That’s all for now. Expect some more Batman-related stuff in the future.